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Will I turn out to be a deadbeat dad like my father was?

Will I turn out to be a deadbeat dad like my father was?

Sean, 27, had a deadbeat dad who he rarely ever saw or spoke to as a kid. Now, with a child of his own, he’s worried he’s going to turn out like him. He’s also worried about getting married again as his first marriage didn’t work out. What can Sean do to be a better parent than his dad was and how can he get over his fear of another failed marriage?

Harry’s advice:

Your dad was a bad role model, but I like bad role models. I like bad role models because they are a concrete example of the kind of person you don’t want to be. While you’re worried that your dad didn’t bestow on you good qualities, I think what he taught you and what you know for a fact is that you don’t want to be that guy.

There is one thing I’m scared of. I’m scared that you may not get married and that if you do get married, you’ll leave your wife. I suspect that you’re so focused on your father that you’re not putting some focus on why you want to get married. You don’t sound convincing when you say you’re not going to cheat on your wife. Sean, you really have to man it up. You don’t sound like you’re ready to get married.

You’re not ready to get married because you’re still not over your ex-wife, who cheated on you. Your fiancé is pressuring you to get married because you guys have a kid and she thinks it’s time to settle down. You need to stop making excused and have the confidence to say, “I’m not ready.” The good news is that you’ve seen your father, you know what a good marriage takes and what it takes to be a good dad, and you’re in the middle right now. It’s time that you make some smart choices.

Listen to the call:

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