Elizabeth, 28, wants to know what counts as cheating. She thinks cheating includes texting and social media like Facebook, as well as sexual infidelity. Her husband, Arthur, 30, thinks he’s more experienced than Elizabeth and knows what cheating is. He thinks
that having sex with another woman is the only thing that counts as cheating. Whose definition of cheating is correct?
Arthur, you say you used to cheat, but you have given it up. But Elizabeth is saying that you’re still emailing, texting, and Facebook messaging other women. She’s got a point that something is wrong with messaging women behind your wife’s back.
People think cheating is just having sex. But Elizabeth is saying that there’s emotional cheating as well. She’s right…and, Arthur, you don’t understand that. By all this communication you’re doing, you’re getting into an emotional relationship with other women, which is a real kind of attachment. It’s not surprising, then, that Elizabeth thinks you’re going to leave her for another woman.
Arthur, I gotta tell you that what you’re doing does count as cheating…and it may ruin your marriage. You’ve been together for 7 years and have 5 children. You’ve got to man up and take some responsibility here for being a good dad. Kids grow up fast—believe me, you don’t want to look back 10 years from now and realize you missed it all and that you don’t know your own kids.
Arthur, forget about social media. It’s addictive; it’s a drug. If your addiction causes a problem at the house—and it clearly is—it’s time to give it up. Arthur, you’re making Elizabeth feel insecure. You’re not listening to her. She wants to know that you’re going to be there for her emotionally and financially. In this particular situation, you need to accept that Elizabeth is right. What you’re doing is dating other women. How is that helping your children and your family? Think about your children and what kind of role model you want to be for them.
Listen to the call: