When it comes to male infidelity the stories and resources of information are plenty. Since men are stereotyped as emotionally irresponsible and unable to control their physical urges, there are countless books, studies, and discussions on why men cheat on their wives or girlfriends.
But where are all the conversations about female infidelity? Don’t they cheat too?
According to Dr. Holmes, a U.K. psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, an increasing amount of women are having affairs. In their recent study is was found that 15 percent of women were unfaithful to their husbands or boyfriends at least once in their lifetime. Study results also show that the likelihood of women cheating on their partner seemingly increase with age.
In a 2006 University of Washington Study, researchers found that the lifetime rate of infidelity among men increased to 28 percent in 2006, compared to 20 percent in 1991.
The noticeable jump in female infidelity comes from the fact that women are more financially empowered and independent than they were in past generations, and in turn, have developed many of the same bad social habits as men. Also, as more women joined the workforce and closed the working-class-gender-gap, “office affairs” have become somewhat of a norm in the area of female infidelity.
While many past studies do confirm that men cheat more than women, women will generally have an emotional affair which may progress into physical infidelity, unlike men, who are statistically more likely to engage in a one night stand.
“The bottom line regarding infidelity, is that men are cheating on their wives primarily for sexual reasons, while women are cheating on their husbands for emotional reasons,” Ruth Houston, infidelity expert said in 2009.
“What I find most interesting about my research, as well as other studies on female infidelity, is that the majority of the reasons cheating wives commit infidelity are things that could be easily remedied by an attentive husband who’s willing to make the effort,” she said.
There are many reasons why a women may cheat, whether it be physical or emotional, and these are among some of the basic commonalities.
Lacking Emotional Closeness- A large area where men and women differ is how they perceive closeness and romance. Many men feel closeness through sex or physical contact, and women often associate closeness with proper communication with their partner. Seeking an emotional connection outside the marriage, if its not being received at home, is a common reason many women cheat. So if you’re not paying attention to how your woman feels, you may be pushing her into the bed of another man.
More Quality Time Needed- When couples first meet, there usually isn’t enough time in a day to spend together. When you enter the newness of a relationship the ability to devote all of your time to each other is effortless, but becomes more of a challenge the longer that you’re together. Seeking compensation for both physical and emotional abandonment are common reasons for infidelity. Experts at the Family Education website, say marriages need to carve out time for three general activities. Time for planning, time for resolving differences, and time for fun. They say if time isn’t made for these three things, it will negatively impact your marriage, and could lead to unfaithfulness.
Losing Confidence, Feeling Undesired- Over the period of a long relationship it’s easy for men to grow overly comfortable with their partner and forget to compliment or show affection towards them, and this can lead to a lack of self-confidence in your wife or girlfriend. Another man who is willing to provide this desired attention to your woman, could lead her to be unfaithful to you. It doesn’t happen in all cases, but if your lady feels that you are no longer attracted to her, it leaves open a window of vulnerability that another man may climb into.
No Sex or Intimacy- Just because its usually easier for women to connect emotionally than men, it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy sex. Many women enjoy sex just as much as men do, so if the relationship becomes sexually stagnate, women may seek satisfaction from another man. However, if you are having sex with your wife, and never provide her with any intimacy or romance with the sex, she may look to get it elsewhere.
What are some of the things to look out for if you expect your wife or girlfriend is cheating?
Suspicious Cell Phone Behavior- If you notice sneaky cell phone behavior from your lady, like she’s always going into another room to speak, whispers on the phone, or she stops talking each time you walk in the room, this may be indication that she is hiding something from you, quite possibly another man. You may notice that she always deletes her call records from her phone, or each time you pick up the phone someone hangs up. Between calling and texting, infidelity has now gone digital and can be your main form of evidence if you suspect your woman is being unfaithful.
She’s Being Secretive– If she abruptly stops sharing the details of her day with you, or no longer includes you in her plans, this may be a sign that she’s sharing her time with someone else. This holds true for those who have a wife or girlfriend that is usually communicative, but suddenly stops telling you where she is going and what she’s doing. This or any behavioral change that seems to lock you out of her life, should be cause for some concern and questioning on your part.
Work Habits Suddenly Change– If you see your partner’s work schedule change and she’s always working extra hours, but you don’t see any additional income or signs of work-fatigue, this could be a sign of cheating. Also, if she is unable to give you clear answers as to why she’s working extra hours or she’s not able to explain why working longer is necessary, it should logically raise your suspicions as to what she is really doing with her time.
Spending Large Amounts of Time on the Computer- Just like the cellphone, the home computer can be a device used to carry on both physical and emotional affairs. If you see the computer history always deleted when your partner gets off, this may tell you she is hiding something. Increased use of the computer after you go to bed at night, can also be a sign that she’s seeing somebody else. Chat-rooms, deleted emails, and her always removing herself to use the computer can all be clues that she is being unfaithful.
Infidelity no matter who is committing it can be very painful, and destroy trusts within a relationship. But luckily many of the things that lead up to infidelity are preventable, like spending more quality time with each other, showing small signs of random affection, and listening to her when she wants to talk or vent. Cheating doesn’t always mean the union is finished either, with counseling from a relationship expert, many relationships can still be repaired and trust can yet again be restored.