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‘Is it a problem that I watch porn in public on my iPhone?’

‘Is it a problem that I watch porn in public on my iPhone?’

Irving is 26 and addicted to pornography. He watches porn every chance he can get, at home and on his mobile device while in public. He has never been in a serious relationship. He wants to know what he can do to cut porn out of his life.

My Advice:

First thing, Irving, it’s good that you’re calling and admitting that you have a problem, because you really do.

The reason you’ve never been in a relationship is because you’re already in a relationship: with porn. Porn has taken over your life.  You say you’re not lonely, but I don’t believe you. You’re 26 and you’ve never been in a relationship. That’s a major problem, right?

So, Irving, the first step in dealing with any addiction is being totally honest.  You need to come clean here.  So we’ll do a little intervention.  Repeat after me: “This is a problem. I have to stop. I have an obsessive compulsive disorder.” Say it: “I am a porn addict.”

Irving: “I’m a damn porn addict.”

OK.  Good.  Now, Irving, you’ve got to get help. Addictions are very, very hard to beat on your own.  You have to see a health care professional with expertise in sex addiction.

This is the number one issue that sex therapists deal with, you know. It’s important that you know that you are not alone in this. It will also help if you develop a social network—there are support groups for sex addiction and that can really help.  And, at least for awhile, you may have to get rid of your mobile devices.

Irving, you can do this.  You’ve made a start here, now it’s time to get the help you need to beat this addiction, restore your self image, and get your life back.

To read what relationship expert Rebecca Bent says about the problem of men and pornography, click here.

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