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‘My wife wants to leave me because I watch too much porn!’

‘My wife wants to leave me because I watch too much porn!’

Louis has been married for 15 years and is addicted to watching pornography. He is scared that his wife is about to leave him because of it. He says they have a good marriage, but she’s already halfway out the door. He says that for the past two years, they’ve been watching porn while having sex. His wife doesn’t like it, but he can’t have sex without it.

My Advice:

 

 

Larry, you need to make a decision. What do you want more in your life: your wife or pornography? Your wife is going to leave you if you keep doing what you’re doing. You say she’s already walked out on you during sex because she can’t stand the porn you’re watching. She’s probably packing her bags right now.

Watching porn as a couple can sometimes spice up a couple’s sex life.  But both of you need to be into it and you can’t become dependent on it, which is what you’re saying has happened.  You can’t have sex without the porn on, and sometimes you can’t even climax. This is very common among men with porn and masturbation addictions.

Excessive porn-watching is like excessive drinking or like a gambling addiction. It’s an obsession and a compulsion and incredibly harmful to your health and to your relationship.   Your wife feels, correctly, like you’re cheating on her with pornography.

Larry, tell me right now: can you stop watching porn? You have to choose between your wife and porn. You have to pick, right now, or you will lose her. If you pick your wife—and I hope you do—then you need to both see a couple’s therapist, immediately.

It’ll take some time to repair the damage that’s been done here, but if you’re both serious about making it work, you’ll be able to get through this and have enjoyable, natural, sex again.

To read what relationship expert Rebecca Bent says about the problem of men and pornography, click here.

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