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How do I stand up for myself?

How do I stand up for myself?

Miles has been having a lot of trouble recently. One of his roommates in his dormitory steals his stuff, takes his food, and smokes in public areas. The girl he’s been seeing for the past month says she wants to stay a virgin until she’s married. What’s a guy to do?

Harry’s advice:

Miles, why can’t you just say to him, “Hey, stop taking my food”? You’re afraid of him. You’re afraid of a physical confrontation and you think he has “seniority” over you. That’s bull.

You’ve got to grow a spine. You’re totally spineless right now. Your roommate is taking advantage of you and you’re letting him. He’s walking all over you. If you live together, you’ve got to communicate together. You can’t be afraid to talk to your roommates. Don’t leave a note. If a roommate left me a note, I’d rip it up. That’s too passive-aggressive. A note shows weakness. Also, don’t try to hold some kind of silly intervention. You’ve just
got to go to him, man-to-man, and tell him what’s not okay with his actions.

Now, for your girl problem, it sounds kind of similar. A month is a long time to go out with someone without having sex. I’d first suggest that she’s just not that into you. But, you say that your girlfriend is a “traditional girl” and you heard that she told another guy that she’s waiting for marriage to have sex. I’m not sure this is the girl for you. You live in New York, that’s a blue state if you know what I mean. I think people have sex early in New York City. If you don’t want to wait until marriage, why are you dating a girl who does? Miles, I think you need to man up and stand up for yourself with your roommate and have the confidence to find a girl who matches better with you.

Listen to the call:

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