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‘My wife has cancer. Is it safe to have sex?’

‘My wife has cancer. Is it safe to have sex?’

Martin’s wife has liver cancer and is feeling physically awful. He hasn’t been able to have sex with her in awhile, and really misses it,, but his wife is receiving chemotherapy several times a month. She has lost most of her hair, and is essentially bedridden. Should Martin, 58, even be thinking of having sex with his wife while she’s in this condition?

My Advice:

Martin, you need to snap out of this. Your wife is going through a very difficult time in her life, and could even die from this cancer.

What you need to do if you want to have any chance of having sex with your wife is to show her you’re there for her through this whole process, no matter what. Tell her how much you love her and how good she still looks. Take her shopping if she wants to buy a wig or new clothes. There’s a thousand ways to show her how much you care.

The point is, put her needs first, not your own.  Sex should be the least of your concerns at this stage of the game—and I guarantee it’s the last thing on her mind because chemotherapy doesn’t just destroy tumor cells; it destroys the sex drive as well.

Right now you should set sex aside and focus on supporting her through this difficult process. The most important thing is to be happy every day that you two get to be here living, and to make the most of whatever time you’re given.

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