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‘I wish my boyfriend would get a job but he’s not motivated’

‘I wish my boyfriend would get a job but he’s not motivated’

Cooper is 22 and just out of the military.  He’s having trouble landing a full-time job in this economy. He is currently staying with lesbian friends of his, while playing in a semi-professional basketball team. Courtney is also 22 and doesn’t like that Cooper is living with two women.  She’s not happy that he can’t find a job either. She’s having trouble looking at him as her man, and needs him to get his act together before she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level.

My Advice:

Cooper, first of all, thank you for your service.  But you sound like you’ve been a bit lost since getting out of the military.

It sounds to me like this is a big issue for Courtney—and it should be a big issue for you as well. Women need to feel secure in the home, and that means you need to do what’s necessary to show her that you can provide for her. That’s the only way she’s going to respect and trust you.

You may not realize it, but providing for Courtney is incredibly important for your relationship.

Right now you’re playing basketball in the hopes that this will make you some money some day. Those kinds of dreams might have worked when you’re 18 and living out of your car. But you’re older now, you’ve got a relationship and it’s time to grow up.  Even if nothing comes you’re way at first, at least make the effort and start pounding the pavement.

I know it’s hard out there, but you need to do this. Send out your resume every day, and I promise you something will pan out eventually. Not only will you be providing for yourself financially, but you’ll be making Courtney feel happier in her relationship with you.

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